The Real Story? 

Posted by Glenn Bautista on Thursday, 10 September 1998, at 5:26 p.m.


Can you guys tell me what the whole story of Highlander is? I mean, why do they fight.? What is the reason? I mean, I know there can be only one. But what is the reason why they are here on earth, how did all this start? And if there is only one, what will happen?


The answer is.....

Posted by Melvin on Thursday, 10 September 1998, at 5:54 p.m.,


*Can you guys tell me what the whole story of Highlander is? *

The whole story of Highlander is that this Scottish guy is destined to fight a pool of red mist in his jammies while twirling a stick. And a singing Tupperware bowl helps him. Everything leads up to that.

*I mean, why do they fight...* 

Well, they have the swords, they have the time...why not fight? 

*What is the reason.. * 

I don't think reason has too much to do with anything. It doesn't in our world either. Why would anyone blow up the World Trade Center...or The Oklahoma City Federal Building? Nope....reason is not an issue. 

*I mean I know there can be only one. But what is the reason why they are here on earth,* 

Well, they started off on the moon, but there wasn't enough oxygen so they kept dying, recovering, dying recovering, dying, recovering...and that got old fast. Also, the gravitation on the moon was so much less that every time they took a mighty swing with their swords, they went skittering and spinning across the surface of the moon like drunken Frisbees. It wasn't very graceful. The Russian astronauts kept laughing at them, and they felt sheepish about it, so they hitched a ride back to earth and stayed here. 

*how did all this start?* 

Well, as I understand it, there was this chicken and this egg. And they were in this big fight about which one of them came first. And they each brought in their chosen warriors...and the last one with his head on determines which actually came first, the chicken or the egg. Then we can ring down the curtain on all this madness and move on to other things. Or at least, that's what the badger told me. 

*And if there is only one, what will happen??* 

Well, the chicken vs the egg mystery will be solved, and I imagine the guy (or gal) will strip to his (or her) undies, have a pint of Guinness and watch a ball game. That's what I'd do. Maybe I'd have some cheetos too. And a quart of olives. 

I hope that helps. 


Pay no attention to that man behind the badger! 

Posted by K on Thursday, 10 September 1998, at 6:00 p.m.


What does he know? 

Would you listen to a man with no body hair? 

(Shut up already. Man, that's the last time I tell you *anything* blabbermouth!)


Well, JEEZ, never told me... 

Posted by Not Melvin on Thursday, 10 September 1998, at 6:09 p.m.


It was like some big secret or anything. I never posted the link to that Russian Cosmonaut video of you trying to do in Big Nose on the moon, did I? (Hey, if you were gonna wear a kilt, you should really have worn some undies, man. Just a friendly word of advice from someone who cares about you as a friend.) 

Hey, gotta go grease the badger. He says he isn't "Shiny" enough. Go figure.

A badger with an attitude. 

Not Mel


Nice to see that Yak butter isn't going to waste. 

Posted by Not K on Thursday, 10 September 1998, at 6:15 p.m.


Had to give up the kilts. 

They don't call us 'horsemen' for nothing you know. 

And I would have gotten old big nose if the earth hadn't been in my eyes.

Tripped on a rock and fell in some big, bloody hole. Took forever to climb out what with the repeated dying and all. And when I got out, you-know-who was gone. 

Always running away to grow stronger. He says. 



Heh heh....Big Nose.... 

Posted by Not Melvin on Thursday, 10 September 1998, at 6:27 p.m.


Growing stronger in what way, don't you wonder? I think I saw him swilling pez with a couple rogue Tommy Lees recently. 

Can't trust those bookgeeks. Turn on you every time. I suppose he'd hidden your Raybans too. And that's why you were blinded by the earth. 

Cheater. He'd whine and cry if you did that to him! It's always different when it's the other fellow. 

Well, I gotta feed the badger. (No chocolate, fur ball.) And G's running us a nice tub of blueberry's blue butts for all. 

Night, K. See you later. 

Don't take any wooden horses. They're always full of Trojans.


Melvin. And the recently shined badger.

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