Everything I Need to Know I Learnt From the Horsemen

Posted by Melvin AKA The Fifth Horseman, "Flattulence"

on Saturday, 12 September 1998, at 7:23 p.m.


(20) Beware of women bearing duct tape.

(19) Pets are delicious.

(18) Flattulence is fun. Enjoy it with your friends.

(17) March to your own drummer...if he can't keep the beat, beat *him*.

(16) Don't get caught.

(15) Deodorant is for sissies.

(14) Dare to eat the olives right out of the jar. Right in the Olive Aisle at the Grocery Store.

(13) Leave all the lights on. All the time. And all the major appliances too.

(12) Always leave the seat up.

(11) Leave no fart unlit.

(10) Belch loudly and often.

(9) Villages and their villagers were put on earth for your pleasure. Don't deny your heritage.

(8) Disembowelment is an art form.

(7) Make War, Get Piece.

(6) If your butt is blue, your heart is true.

(5) Loot, loot, and loot again. It's what we do.

(4) Beer is good. More beer is better.

(3) Support your local barbarian

(2) Leave no glass unbroken.

(1) Pillage no village until its prime.


You're doing good.

Posted by K on Saturday, 12 September 1998, at 7:32 p.m.


By Birmingham you'll be ready to ride.

No. You may not carry the badger in your saddle bags.


How about a little badger side car?

Posted by Melvin on Saturday, 12 September 1998, at 7:43 p.m.


You know-like a small pony running really fast next to my horse? The badger looks good in blue paint.



Posted by K on Saturday, 12 September 1998, at 7:47 p.m.


You want us to be laughed at and called the Five Badgermen?

They'll think we're in the circus.

No Badger.

And that's final.

Stop sniveling.



Posted by Melvin. on Saturday, 12 September 1998, at 8:05 p.m.


I don't know how I'm gonna break this to the badger. He had his heart set on a tattoo.

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Melvin and K's Excellent Adventure

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Halloween in Paraguay

Galatea and Melvin

Guest Suite

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