Death By FRU

The following account was received regarding the last moments of Riot after receiving a record number of FRU previews via e-mail before the formal opening of the Kompound. We've since revised our preview policies. It's not like we have so many bootlickers we can afford to waste them. Frivolously, that is.


Subject: Naked Dead Woman Found with chamois in mouth.

 

Reporters at the scene noted:

1. Various articles of clothing flung hither and yon.

2. A scratchy recording of polka music skipping on the record player.

3. 1 small shrine built entirely of gold boxes of chocolate.

Neighbors recall hear strange noise at approx. 7:30 p.m., crescendoing at approx. 7:45.

"Earl and I heard several screams from that house...seems that girl is always yelling at night." Velma Hawkins age 62.

Police verified from the position of the body, the woman seemed to have been in the middle of a frenzied dance ritual. The coroner could not be reached for comment but witnesses have verified that he mumbled something about Valentines Day while speaking to police.

News to follow.


Subject: Mission accomplished

Date: Thu, 15 Jan 1998 21:30:58 PST

From: "The Godiva" [Godiva@hotmail.com]

 

Dear "Dear",

Yes, it took a little longer than expected but I did manage to get her to embrace the clothing optional lifestyle.

Unfortunately, she terminated in a Polka frenzy.

Yes, I did save the chocolate and am bringing it back to the Kompound.

Yes, I know worshippers, supplicants and penitents that can grovel and bootlick appropriately are hard to come by, but these things happen. The faint of heart just can't take your glorious countenance in such abundance.

I guess I shouldn't have sent four FRUs in one day.

Well, live and learn.

Shall we start on Raeven tomorrow?

Love and kisses,

G.


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