She's not here. G's at work, this is a surprise remember? Don't blow it by getting the police here ahead of time, okay?

No, I don't know where the badger is right now.

Yes, I suppose if you told her that you were picked up by Melvin and the badger to go shopping for a birthday present, she MIGHT believe you.

I wonder why it's so quiet all of a sudden, where is Silas and Caspian?

I have to go write the appropriate birthday dirge.......

You keep decorating, and DON'T EAT ALL THE OLIVES, or G will find you duct taped to the ceiling as her present from me.

No, that isn't a beach ball in the corner.

Jeez.......................

Hang on, the rest of the decorating committee will be here soon.

I hid, buut nobody seeked me.

OOooooooHhhhhh! Can I have a balloon?

Hey! Presents! Goodie!!

G'Oz guards.

Yes, you may have ONE balloon, but DO NOT suck the helium out of it, we don't need you to walk around the rest of the day pretending to be the END OF TIME as a child. (no, K, we weren't talking about you, keep playing with the tinsel)

And NO! Those presents are for G!

What did you get her by the way? (I should be checking these things, after what happened last time)

Where is Methos? He said he would be getting the beverages........

*sigh*™

Onward and upward

Help I pulL ouT thiS sTick. It hertZ.

Caspian procured the Pelka Polka Band, I don't even want to how, buy why do they smell like rotten eggs?

Did you contract the G'Oz guards?

You had better hide that copter, Big G and Little G have the frayed stick on them at all times, my furry-in-some-spots-friend, they know how to use it.

You'd better come up with a story quick.

That better not be a Budweiser truck pulling up here, METHOS! He should know better! Bud? Unacceptable!

What? No, you can't attach tinsel to that stick as a decoration, give me that!

EYEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWW!

Polkah on K's feeet (snicker snikcer). Payed witH old Eastrr Eggs, or the ,Band coulda Died insted.

caN i HavE Badgrrr as pRize?

Whenz cake?

GiVe U priz wher sun doaN sHinE!

GRRR!

B

TaSts Lik cHickN An rabBit

CoMe heRe

DoNt ruN U wiLl dyE TyRed.

You'll give Melvin hives.... where is Melvin?

In the closet? With who?

Oh, well, that's okay, but I think we are going to need more whipped cream.

CASPIAN NO!

The badger is not a prize!

What is?

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

NO NOT THE BUNNY!

I am going to deserve the medal of honor for this.

Help, someone give me a prize for Caspian!

(as Cori chases Caspian, who's chasing the badger)

Now Silas is chasing me. I've got your bunny! He's safe, we'll just keep him with me until we get Caspian under control... okay Silas?

No, you don't have to place use Caspian's head as an ax holder... it will be alright.

I hope Loco comes back soon with the bananas.

Is it, huh? Is it? Is it????

I have blue sprinkles for the buttocks. Little g loves the blue sprinkles. And I have olives that have soaked over night in blue food coloring to make intricate designs on the chest and back.

And we have woven a delightful headpiece of olive tongues for a crown. It will be so aesthetic!!!

Melvin

Ummmmmmmmmmmmm, you can do that later, provided you can catch him...

Where is he now?

HEY! Get away from the copter! I mean it (waving duct tape)! I can stick you to that ceiling fan in the den, you won't party, you won't eat, you'll just spin and spin and spin...

Don't you dare vomit, Melvin, it's only hypothetical.... NO! Not hypodermic!

*sigh*™

Bronze Age Delivery Company at your service. Our motto; "If you want it, we got it. If we don't we know how to find it!!"

Yes is this *G's* surprise party location? Is there a Mr. *K* here?

(Nervously looks around at large man playing with balloon and another one teasing tinsel.)

Uh, or anyone who could sign for this?

Uh or if no one wishes to sign for it, we'll just take it back!!

Man teasing tinsel grins and signs receipt.

OK guys bring it in..

Hey where do you want this?

Oh........... to remind G of humping around?

Makes sense, of course she will like it!

Keep it in the Kompound, the Stables?

Near the bunny rabbit? Well as long as it doesn't spit on it, I suppose it will be okay.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm, where did Melvin run off too?

Yes, why don't you go find him?

I'll park the camel

(It might be a replicate of a camel and in truth be a CIA plant!!! But not a geranium!!!)

Remember the trojan horse?? we don't want to take any chances.

The Trojan Camel Project sounds like a conspiracy. Check the body cavities for supplies of green pez. It must be in there somewhere.

Melvin....donning tinfoil. Lots of tinfoil.

For covering it in tin foil (you can never have too much for protection) and searching it, Melvin.

And make sure you SHOWER before you come back inside.

I know Big G gave you a bath a month ago, but these are special circumstances.

This is your sekrit mission for the day, be a success, and we will want a full report as soon as you are done.

I've got the extra extra EXTRA supply of cherries, and the cream is in the fridge ready to be whipped at the last minute (that IS in my Bootlicker job description... =J)...

What time is this shindig happening, anyhow?

(wow, Melvin, those olives are.... stunning!)

(no, Silas, dear, I wouldn't forget the bunny. But you know, the last bunny you gave Godiva, well, it left, you know. It... um... um... moved. That's right. Had to go visit its family. No, no nothing to do with Caspian, I swear!! But maybe lil G would like a little nice leather. You still have time to - - ok, ok, bunny rabbits are nice too. No, really, I love the one you gave me. He just likes to live with that little girl down the street, you know that.)

Oops! Forgot the bananas! I'll be back!

In Loco (Mentis), whipper of cream the hard way

No, no, K, you go right ahead and taste test the hot fudge sauce....

I don't think they can turn it blue, do we even want to see them try? I'm not so sure.

Yes, bananas, we need those....

No, Silas, not to squish to make wine, that's grapes. Melvin, I see you heading for the ice cream, well, maybe you can use it as decoration for K with the blue frosting and olives.

K, don't make that face, you said "anythin fer G".

You did, Tuna said so.

Big G, come here a minute honey......

This is little g's birthday...not MINE!

Well...(*stop that now*)....well....(*squeak!*)...well, okay...just ten minutes in the closet. I'm sure no one will notice we're missing. Get that badger out of here!

*oooh*

We have the truck here, ma'am.

Why thank you, I'd love a raisenette, or two.

Can you just sign for this? We'll back the truck right up to the door and roll the crates in.... not a problem, but do you think you could move the helicopter?

No, I don't know anything about green pez, I take care of the chocolate, that's all....... who was that strange little somewhat furry creature? No matter.

Come on boys! Bring her back!

MM! MM! Good!

K- check (check nothing, just taking attendance, why don't you go watch Mr. Mom on big screen?)

Caspian- check (chasing Badger)

Silas- check (patting bunny)

Methos- missing (although I hear familiar hiccups coming from the wet bar)

Melvin- check (hiding the copter)

Various and sundry other guests- check

Cake- check (who's been licking the cake, don't tell G)

Frosting- check (lots of blue)

Olives- check (too many, what? Nothing Melvin)

Beer- check (I have to check and see exactly how much since Methos has been "missing")

Presents- check (and well shaken by K, yes, I understand you were looking for bombs, but I think a couple of fragile things, well, nevermind)

Band- check (although looking a little green)

G'Oz guards- ready for Full Monty duty

Chocolate- of course

Ice Cream and Sundae fixins- ready to be spread around

Bunny- yup

Camel- saddled and ready to give rides

Decorations- tinsel all over the place, people's hair is standing on end from the static electrictiy to K's complete amusement, balloons- less than when we started, but they are strategically placed, funny hats (no, K, you don't have to wear one) and party games...... (no, Melvin, we won't play Pin the Tail on the Badger)

Now, I know I'm forgetting something, well I'm sure I'll be reminded....

Where's the guest of honor?

...Bronze Age Delivery Company at your service. Our motto; "If you want it, we got it. If we don't we know how to find it!!" (We're Back!!)

Yes we now know this is *G's* surprise B-day party location?

Is a Mr. *K* still here? Uh, yes there he is, oh Mr. Mom..(snicker)….No Sir, I'm not laughing at you, just with you!

Sir, your other package has arrived. (*K* growls at "BAD' Delivery person)

Please Sir, we are terrible sorry it is late, but we had a hard time getting past the copter in the driveway.

Well were would you like this Sir?

Oh you want to take charge of it personally, yessss Sir.

Just sign here, hey no need to get pushy, sign and then.......Sir I don't think that because we were late you need to be so angry………..Run guys he's got a sword!!!!

(*K* smiles with satisfaction and opens package to make sure contents are undamaged. Then closes it and places it back with other presents. He goes quietly back to big screen to watch Mr. Mom.)

Undamaged Contents

I like those little tasselly things...and I know JUST the place to hang them....

Oh, Geeeee......

I think I still have a cherry or two around here somewhere, dear.

Mr. Mom? Oh....well, perhaps later.

No. I do not think it would be appropriate for the End of Time to join us in the closet. He still hasn't managed to control that *Licking* thing yet.

No. I don't mind it when *you* lick.

Drop the badger and come here. Now.

G

*phew*!

Thanks, Silas.

I brought more whipped cream and cherries, too, I got a garbled call on my cell phone, I don't know who it was but I figured it had to be... Oh, it was you, Cori? Cool!

Oh, and here's Caspian's prize!

A lovely big box of... Crayons!! Now remember... Raeve doesn't like you to EAT them, right? remember? it upsets your tummy.... *sigh*(tm)

Are Melvin and Big G still in that closet? =J

Good thing I brought tons more whipped cream!

In Loco Animalis Festivalis

Wonder where Riot is with Consone...

Make picshurs!

Fer G!

What BadGr?

Red YUMMMMMMM!

The badger is now safe, Melvin will not have hives..... it's a good thing he is still in the closet and missed that spectacle.

Yes, Caspian, it's a lovely picture of.... whatever it is.... don't lick the purple, it doesn't taste like grape.

Silas is calming the bunny and playing with the bananas? Sure.

Yes, K, everything is fine, what's that leather strapping hanging out of that box? Okay, I won't ask....

Thanks Loco, you're a life saver... no, Caspian not the candy, DON'T LICK HER!

Sorry Loco.

Top Ten Reasons to GO NEKKID:

10. No one notices any acne you might have on your face.

9. Bills for clothes? What are those?

8. The closet space available is AMAZING!

7. Gives you more of an excuse to cuddle up to someone when it's cold outside.

6. One never worries about being stifled by the heat, breezes reach everywhere when one is au natural.

5. What better way to attract and stun men with your immortal beauty?

4. The Skate Key is well within view, and not hiding under unsightly shirts.

3. Brings new meaning to the term "riding bareback".

2. The only accessory you need is HAIR

1. No worries about dry cleaning bills, spills can be easily licked off.

(yes, we know who is volunteering for that, don't get so testy)

Happy Birthday to You

Happy Birthday dear Godiva, Skate Key Wearer, Nekkid Goddess, Clothing Optional One, Kompound Koncubine, Kompound Kommandant, the Great G'Oz.....

Happy Birthday to YOU!

(BELCH)

Thanks, Caspian.

And now, the clothing optional G'Oz Guards will do a specially choreographed dance for you, put together by WHO? (oh Melvin and the Badger)

.... just as long as they don't dance..... what? Nothing....

Let Me

Make you smiiiiile....

I will pick a few ticks,

Some fleas and then some more ticks!

I'm very in-fan-tile!

So Let Me

In to Stain you, and we'll have a real good (end of) time, yes sir!

Yes we'll have (*BUMP* *GRIND*)

A REAL

GOOD

TIIIIIIIIMMMMME!

(*Big finish, with a triple back axle twist and a bit of fuzz drifting slowly to the floor.

Where's the chocolate?

(Silas. Put your clothes back on!)

Bet you didn't have a clue,huh huh...did ya??*g*

Glad you had a good day...they have all been so busy getting ready...olives, bananas..chocolates...camels..tinsel...just a bit of everything.

No, no, not you "Boys", the BAND...

No, the BAND...

No, no, don't HIT the BAND!!!

If you hit the band, the Polka Goddess won't be able to Polka, and you know that won't make K happy!!!!

HIYA g!

Cori's been busy all day, she was right here, I'm sure she'll be right back! (someone left you a top ten...)

I'm sure Galatea and Melvin will be along any time now (pay no attention to the noises in that closet)!

Silas has a cute bunny for you ... *sorry!*

Watch out for the camel d- er... oh, gracefully sidestepped, nicely done, G!

(no, Caspian, she wants the chocolate, not a crayon, but that's really sweet... *euuw*)

There's plenty of hot fudge sundaes in the corner, Godiva, and I brought extra EXTRA extra whipped cream and cherries... I think K has been having a little talk with Melvin so I don't know if you'll be hanging around too long... and there's that box...

Oh, and bananas! We have bananas!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GODIVA!!

Silas would like a polka, if possible. (we've been practicing, he's actually very light on his feet, G...)

In Loco Mentis

*offering a heaping hot fudge sundae with side bowls of whipped cream and cherries*

Sorry I'm late, your Kommandantness. Hope you're enjoying the party!

Er,....I saw this pasted on the fridge. I think I'd better go to the market and replenish some of our supplies.

Uh, oh.