My Blue Horseman

a "My Fair Lady" parody by Shomeret MacParody


MEET ME AT THE CHURCH-sung by Methos

(sung to the tune of "Get Me to the Church On Time)


Made myself a monster by the Jimmy

Killing for enjoyment was my crime

You said "We're through" now

But there's a bomb that's due now

Got to meet you at the church on time.


Caspian and Silas double-teamed you

Seemed like your life wasn't worth a dime

Told Cass you're dead now

Probably lost your head now

Unless you made it to the church on time.


Oh when I'm scheming

Give me the crown

But when I'm hiding

I'll get out of town


Betraying my brothers wasn't easy

Maybe I'm just as much a slime

All debts are paid now

Regrets will fade now

Mac, no need to make a search

Just leave Cass in the lurch

And meet me at the church

One last time.



(sung to the tune of "On The Street Where You Lived")


We the Horsemen rode

Through the heart of town.

We eviscerated the men

And mowed the children down.

We killed the women too.

That included you.

So much for the village

Where you lived.


We had often raided

Nomads' tents before

And I had taken slaves

To warm my bed before.

Covered with blood am I.

I've watched thousands die.

It wasn't just in the village

Where you lived.


And oh that power hungry feeling

Just to know the world's at my feet

That overpowering feeling

That I will never suffer a defeat!


Now you can't admit

That you fell for me.

You abominate my name

And want no part of me.

Still I saved your life it's true

By riding off with you.

You could have been headless

In the village where you lived.


I'LL HAVE YOUR HEAD-sung by Cassandra

(sung to the tune of "Just You Wait")


I'll have your head, Methos slaver

I'll have your head.

In Bordeaux with your brothers

You will be dead.

It will be on the tapes from Fusion.

Stockholm Syndrome is your illusion.

I'll have your head, Methos slaver

I'll have your head.


I'll have your head, Methos murderer

In a thrice.

Though Duncan MacLeod says you've been nice.

It's so clear that you forsook him

And you sold him a bridge in Brooklyn.

I'll have your head, Methos murderer

I'll have your head.


Ooh Methos Horseman

Just you wait until a weapon's in my hand.

Ooh Methos Horseman

Such bad news for Kronos and his band!

You may have me behind bars

But I'll kick you all to Mars!

Oh ho ho Methos Horseman

Just you wait!


I've uttered a prophecy

And cast many spells.

Though I never cut my nails

My Thighmaster sells.

Bester owes me a favor

That he'd like to repay

For running Babylon 5

The Psi Corps way.

In Bordeaux at the submarine base

The Psi Cop will show his face.

He will read your pathetic thoughts

And discover your plan.

Whatever I ask of him

Will be his command.

There's no doubt what I'll say

If you haven't fled.

"All I want is Methos Horseman's head!"

"Deal!" Bester will reply with a grin.

"Can I dissect the rest of him?"

I hope that he makes barbecue of your toes,

That he'll pickle your eyes and then your nose.

But first I'll raise my sword high.

It'll be the day that you die.

Oh ho ho Methos Horseman!

Down you'll go, Methos Horseman!

I'll have your head!


Tourguide Map