Top Ten Horsemen Bumper Stickers

Posted by Bright Girl (The paranoids are after me!!!) on Tuesday, 25 August 1998, at 8:28 a.m.


FIRST OFF, thanks to "don't drink and post" for the inspiration.




10. Backoff, I'm a Horseman

9. Always remember to PILLAGE before you BURN

8. I like rats, they taste like chicken

7. So many villages, so little time

6. Vegetarian: Horsemen word for lousy hunter

5. Do not meddle in the affairs of Caspian. You are crunchy and good with ketchup

4. Kronos is boss, right Methos?

3. It's been lovely, but I have to kill you now

2. Kill 'em all! Let their god sort them out

1. I'm the Horseman that witch warned you about

Top Ten Reasons not to take the boys to Star Wars

Posted by Cori on May 11, 1999 at 11:04:19:


10. The whines for lightsabers would kill you. 

9. Living with the Dark Side of the End of Time could be even more dangerous. 

8. Saying "Darth Methos" would reduce you to a puddle of laughter. 

7. Do you want to find out what they are building in the basement as a result of seeing all the new vehicles in the movie? 

6. They'd want to trade in their horses for landspeeders.

5. Do you want to dress up as that Empress lady to re-enact the Empire taking over? 

4. Try face painting all four of them like Darth Maul, I dare you.

3. K would realize there's much more to conquer than just the Earth. 

2. He'd want to crush the Empire too as well as the Jedi and the Rebellion..... with just the four of them. 

1. Do you want to deal with the damage as a result of trying to "use the Force"? I think not.


Better get ready, G and Galatea and everyone else...... the madness is about to begin. 

Hee hee


This may not be a great top ten, but I thought I'd get in the spirit of things.

Revised Top Ten Reasons for CassieHO's Press On Nails
Posted by Cori on September 16, 1999 at 07:31:43:


10. Every BITCH should have a set, see Bitch Manual, Witch Section paragraph marked How to Have Outrageous Nails for Character.

9. They are great for stirring her brews and picking frog parts out of the cauldron. (how does she keep them clean?)

8. Blood drips so dramatically off well-manicured nails.

7. It's easier to scratch out Methos' eyes than with bare fingertips, but they break easily because they're fake so watch out.

6. She can file and polish them while she waits for her Champion to save her from the submarine base. (Save me, oh save me, I'm so pitiful even though I am a powerful witch who can hypnotise ANYONE)

5. They'll be something for Silas to bite while he does guard duty.

4. Dragging them screeching across a blackboard/brick wall of shack is sure to render any nubile prophecy-laden child into submission so she can suck face with him.

3. With them, it's far easier to sink her nails into -ahem- cling to Hero Duncan.

2. Open Methos' beers since all her teeth are capped.

1. Who needs a sword? Well filed nails can slice off any head, once they've been hypnotized by that seductress voice... ya right, no wonder she hasn't taken a head in years. 

OOOOOH! Bad Cori Bad Cori 

Heh heh heh heh

Top Ten Ways to Make Summer Break Miserable for the boys

Posted by Cori (it's too quiet here!) on June 23, 1999 at 10:15:56


10. Let Methos know how far away Oktoberfest is.

9. Ban them from "Field Day" at the local elementary school (no, you can't plant mines for the 3-legged race!). 

8. Refuse Silas's request to use your prize garden flowers for the "momma had a baby and it's head popped off" game. 

7. In the spirit of summer, change all face painting from blue to yellow zinc oxide sunscreen. 

6. Require K. to lessen his forced marches of the children at the local summer camp.(good exercise, humph!)

5. Arts and crafts at said summer camp are not to include "how to sharpen knives JUST right!" 

4. Tell them tin foil beanies are not to be worn in the hot sun for it will scorch their brains. 

3. Refuse Caspian to trap skunks, the badger has enough friends with the squirrels.

2. Do not let them ride in their complete Horsemen outfits (sunstroke and heat exhaustion does not make a menacing picture).

1. No deadly viruses in the sprinklers!!!!!

Happy Summer!

Oh, and G, you can let them do whatever they want at your Field Day, your ,rugrats deserve whatever they get!


Top Ten Reasons not to take K and Company to a Renaissance Faire

Posted by Cori on Friday, 3 September 1999, at 11:29 a.m.


10. Damsel in distress my a$$! (let go of me, and get that pointy satin hat off my head, I do not need to be saved from a tower!) 

9. They have TURKEY legs, not fried chicken legs. 

8. Beer steins, yard long beers, Beer booths, Beer SONGS... need I say more? 

7. The ROYAL zoo- not for long (Silas! Get on THIS side of the fence, no they aren't dinner possibilities!)

6. There is a mud pit- ever try to get mud out of K's leather? 

5. There are sword merchants about every 20 yards. 

4. The face painters will suddenly find all their paint is gone, save one color: blue. 

3. Gaming glen: knife and ax throw (don't worry, they've brought their own) 

2. Four jousters, FOUR horsemen- bad idea.

1. Can you keep up with them as they chase every KILT they find? 

Happy Labor Day 


Top Ten Things NOT to give K and the Boys when they Trick or Treat

Posted by Cori on Wednesday, 20 October 1999, at 9:05 a.m.


10. Anything with marshmallow (have you ever tried to get that out of hair?)

9. Popcorn balls (they end up strategically placed)

8. Rice krispie treats (they can be molded into shapes VERY similar to popcorn balls)

7. Left over peeps from Easter (there were enough disasters with them at Easter, the microwave still isn't fixed at the Kompound)

6. Anything colored other than blue. (better be separating all the blue M&M's out of the bags now before the end of time arrives)

5. Fruit (are you nuts?)

4. Nuts (see fruit)

3. Raisenettes (no one trusts anyone with Raisenettes anymore, after what the badger and Melvin did)

2. Green pez (self-explanatory)

1. Money for UNICEF (unless it's in BIG bills, then K will consider it.... for a WORTHY charity, what? no I don't know the number for the chemical lab, why do you ask?)


Hooray for Halloween! Cori



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