Petitions are now being considered for acceptance into the rank of "The Submissive, Groveling, Penitent Worshipers at the Leather Boots of the 'End of Time'"

Entreaties will be offered to the Polka Goddess who will review the sincerity, worthiness and devotion of the petitioner. Those displaying fickle or misdirected loyalties will be dealt with in an appropriate manner, so consider carefully before presenting yourself for consideration.

Read the following restrictions and requirements carefully. Application implies acceptance of all rules and agreement to all restrictions. Applications become the property of G & K Enterprises, who remain the sole arbiters. G & K Enterprises will not be held liable for any dismemberment, accidental or intentioned, that should befall applicants not adhering to guidelines. You break it you bought it.

You may not adopt anything. You may only pledge your undying loyalty to Kronos and entreat his Leatherness for the inclusion of your name as one of the blessed minions below and then fulfill your duties without question or complaint. Don't like the rules? Too bad!

Supplicants duties are to see that all leather is clean, well-oiled and soft. This includes boots which will be polished daily. (You may lick them first, he likes a good spit polish) There will be no touching of his Leatherness while he is actually *wearing* the leather. The temporary misplacement of leather will not be tolerated so keep your eye out for 'keepers'. They tend to 'keep' stuff.

Penitents duties are to see that all armor and armaments are clean, polished and well-oiled. There will be no touching of Leather Lad while he is actually *wearing* his armor. Playing with or otherwise 'handling' of the swords is not tolerated. Penalties are severe and terminal. The temporary misplacement of armor or armaments will not be tolerated so keep your eye out for 'keepers'. They tend to 'keep' stuff.

Worshipers duties are to see that all household tasks are fulfilled quickly, efficiently and quietly, including washing dishes (you may lick them first) , dusting and polishing furniture (you may lick it first). You will do windows. However, there will be no vacuuming or touching of the vacuum cleaner. No touching the TV/VCR, remote or videos either. Violators will be terminally reprimanded. The temporary misplacement of furniture or other household objects will not be tolerated so keep your eye out for 'keepers'. They tend to 'keep' stuff.

Grovelers duties are to see to the maintenance of grounds and livestock. This means feeding the vicious guard dogs and feeding and grooming the equines. Also mucking out the stables. Please take a number and no pushing and shoving. Do not get too creative when pruning the hedges. This isn't Disneyland. We haven't had any trouble with 'keepers' in this area but one never knows.

The Chief Supplicant, Chief Penitent. Chief Worshiper and Chief Groveler are designated at the sole discretion and random whim of "The End of Time". You may appeal to him for consideration with appropriately reverent and adoring creative prose, but no guarantees. All submissions become property of G & K Enterprises and will not be returned.